I should have called him calvin…

adventures with the autism spectrum

Keep Calm And Carry On

We have this poster on our dining room wall.

I haven’t made the time to blog lately.  I have been focussing on so many other things.  I felt like I didn’t have much to say that would be interesting enough to read.  I follow quite a few blogs, and I love reading them, sometimes leaving my own comments, and I get an awful lot out of this process.  I feel part of a community when doing this.  I have been constantly inspired by so many of my ‘bloggy’ friends, whose writing is so satisfying to read, I often feel like I don’t need to blog.

Life had been going rather smoothly.  Perky has been thriving in his part-time school, part-time home school routine.  He may have even gained a little more weight!  He still struggles significantly with social interactions, and right now, he has an obsession with being ‘first’ for, well, everything – from brushing his teeth, to walking down the front steps, to getting his seat belt on, to lining up at school.  Not always, but it is pretty close.  We are working on it.  Some days it isn’t on his radar, others it is all he wants.

Captain Nintendo is doing very well, he has been working hard in school, and getting recognition and awards for his efforts and results.  He has even shown a huge improvement in his organisational skills, he now brings most of his belongings home every day without reminders.  I can’t recall the last time he left his lunch bag at school.

Both Perky and The Captain have gotten awards for work this week.  They have a lot to be proud of.  Perky has moved up to Benchmark 11 in his readers (he made the leap from level 8 this week) and so he is well on track to be at level 15 (the reading goal for this year in his ILP).

Perky had a bad fall at school just over two weeks ago.  He was running with his class towards the grassed play area and tripped over a friend’s foot and went sprawling knee and cheek first across the concrete.  He lost an alarming amount of skin from his knee and face.  He had a day at home and was heavily plastered with band aids, and so was rather dramatic looking upon his return.  He is almost completely healed (the knee still has a teensy scab) and you won’t be surprised it hasn’t stopped him running everywhere.

At the end of January I was contacted by an old colleague to suggest I apply for one of the casual roles they would be advertising shortly.  I still have double vision, but I thought, it has been going well, maybe by the time this job eventuated, if I was successful, I would be driving again.  I also thought it would be a very positive move to give myself the opportunity to return to a few hours of work a week.  (Adults to converse with! Doing something I had been very good at and passionate about the first time I did it! Extra income!)  So I applied.  It took a while until interviews happened, but I got one in early March.  By that time, I had spoken to my GP about my vision and told her that in the mornings, my double vision was so close to normal, I felt I could drive.  So she referred me back to the neurologist for further assessment and perhaps to be medically cleared to drive.  I decided to start driving short trips.  I didn’t have a problem.  I found out that I would not get to see the neurologist until July.  I decided that was too long to wait without proper approval to drive so I went on his cancellation list.  I ended up seeing him on Friday.  He delivered the news that I should not be driving at all.  And to stop driving.  (I had gotten the Husbeend to drive me to the appointment, because parking at the hospital is insane) The neurologist is referring me to one of his colleagues who is a specialist in neuro-ophthalmology.  The news about my vision is my eyes are in excellent health, but it seems my brain has not healed, yet.  And there is an outside possibility my vision may never recover to what it was.  It has been nearly 11 months since the hemiplegic migraine that caused the double vision.  All the other symptoms resolved many, many months ago.  The double vision has slowly improved from a very disorienting serious doubling to a slight ‘shadow effect’ double.

The possibility of not being able to drive, perhaps never again, is an awful prospect.  I was beside myself.  A few hours later, I got a call to offer me one of the casual jobs.  I held back tears as I explained I was not medically cleared to drive and so could not take the role.

But there is good news.  We are going to find a way to work around me not driving in the short-term.  I am going to get an assessment to find out if I fit into the vague category of ‘minor’ double vision, which would mean I could have a conditional license and keep driving.

The place that offered me the job said to let them know when I am able to drive again, as they will keep me on their records for 12 months.  At least they wanted me.

At least I can depend upon Husbeend to cheer me up.  He asked me if I still loved ‘both’ of him.  I assured him I love both of him equally, and never show any preference for either version of him I can see.

As a healthy distraction, my sister, who is due to have her first baby in just over 2 weeks, has helped me create a ‘zombie feltie’ bunny.  Perky liked it so much he smuggled it into his wardrobe.  We have since made a sleeping spot for it on his bookshelf next to his bed.  I think some more ‘zombie feltie’ making will help me to Keep Calm And Carry On.

Zombie Bunnies are notorious gamers.

Zombie Bunny is about 10 cms high, and has exposed guts, so he won't last long during the zombie apocalypse


“Courage can be admired from any distance, but you can discover it only through lived experience.”

– Stephanie Dowrick

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7 thoughts on “Keep Calm And Carry On

  1. fiona2107 on said:

    I’ve missed you DQ!!!
    So wonderful that you’ve blogged again but BOO to the double vision, the driving ban and the job not eventuating as a result :(

    Please to read that the home schooling is successful so far….
    I’m pulling for you my dear!! GO DQ!!!!

  2. Your blog makes me feel good.
    The way you make lemonade, so quickly, makes me very impressed.

  3. I am sorry you are still having vision problems. It is so difficult to not be able to do all the things you want and need to do independently, and driving can be such a big part of that. I hope things continue to improve and that other options work out in the meanwhile.

    It sounds like your kids are doing wonderfully – so many things to be pleased about. I always feel especially nice when one of my children really likes something I have made, so I’m pleased for you that Perky likes his Zombie Bunny so much.

    I like your Keep Calm and Carry on Poster. Good words for all of us to remember. :)

  4. For the Dancing Queen

    You know my lovliest lovely friend, you inspire me with your constant ability to be hit with giant whammys but to pick up and find ways forward. You have the most amazing ability to give to others, especially your children, and creating ways forward for them, such as the part schooling for Perky. I take great joy from our friendship and our chats and our dinners and love to hear about all the excellent things you are doing. You share with me so willingly and teach me lots of awesome things from all the research you do about the kidlets and sharing of things you have read or workshops you have been to. I truly believe you have many many many good things coming to you in the form of wonderful kids who will grow up into teenagers, then adults who truly love you and appreciate everything you have done for them, and you will have your wonderful funny husbeend by your side. And there will me…always driving down to take you away for our secret DQ and BQ dinners and laughs and chats :)

    I am crossing everything I have that you can still drive, even if conditional, cause then you can get in your car and go for little drives with very very loud music. Most therapeutic :) If it be the case that you cannot, I will come down and pick you up and you can choose the music and we will play it really loud in my car :)

    I send all my love and hugs and listening and thinking and growing and learning to you, cause we share lots and lots and we are in this thing together.

    Love the Butterfly Queen

    • janet on said:

      You are so so lucky to have a supportive husband to help you through this all. Is there any way you could get some sort of subsidised transport or hitch a ride? Being part of the adult world is really a necessity to realize that YOU still exist.

  5. Sarah CM on said:

    Thanks for the update. Loving the Zombie. He would cheer anyone up. Not sooooo sure about thhe exposed “guts”. LOL xoxoxo

  6. Terrible to hear about the double vision. For most jobs, though, they have an obligation to make “Reasonable modification” to the workplace… as long as you can get to & from work I guess. It’s incredible that in my workplace there are deaf people, grown up “thalidomide kids”, blind people, a guy who works from home in a wheelchair typing reports using a stylus on a headband because he can’t move his arms… If you want work, double vision shouldn’t hold you back.

    You gotta be happy about the kids at least!

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